Why?!

its 4 in the morning. i still cant sleep. my heart is beating fast. i still cant believe what i saw. i never would of thought something like that would happen. i was shocked. it hurt so bad, i felt like i was going to explode. why did u have to do that? why did u act that way?
i remember u told me once, that u weren't like that. u don't like it. but then.. i guess u were wrong and i was right. that is how u are but u don't want to believe it. it's like u can't accept it.
I'm amazed that u could smile and laugh just now. it was like nothing happen. u denied things that i saw with my own eye's. HOW COULD U?
how long has this been going on? is this something u did on purpose? i still cant figure it out.
please tell me why u did this.. tell me whats really going on.. don't lie just to make me feel better. cause all lying will do is make it hurt more.